


Beneath the Surface

by luekshemnings



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety Attacks, Backstory, Best Friends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Bullying(?) I guess, Falling In Love, Fear, Fights, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Panic Attacks, Phobias, alternative universe, asshole!michael, fear of water
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:17:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3107564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luekshemnings/pseuds/luekshemnings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He remembers the pain as the water fills his lungs when his brain demanded him to take a deep breath in. The chemicals from the pool burnt his throat and if he weren’t under water tears would be sliding down his cheeks at this very moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fishy Smells and People With Tails?

His converse scuffed against the planks of wood flooring as he made his way further down the pier. The wind huffed around him, sending the already a mess of curls atop his head into a frenzy. Some curls blocked his vision for a split second before he removed a hand from his skinny jean pocket to push his curly fringe to the side.

Tagging along beside him was his friend from high school, Michael Clifford, he was unaffected by the wind as his hair has more product in it to keep it styled just how he liked it.

Finally reaching the small restaurant at the end of the pier Ashton gently pushed open the door, welcomed by a wall of warmth from the cool wind, keeping the door open – like the gentlemen he is – for Michael to walk through.

“You want the usual?” Ashton asks, reaching into his back pocket for his leather wallet.

“Of course, when do I order anything other than a hot chocolate and cookie?” Michael remarks, an eyebrow raised in mockery.

Chuckling to himself Ashton made his way over to the bar and leaned his elbows against the cool surface. He spotted the waitress in the kitchen conversing with the cook, noticing the conversation looked somewhat interesting Ashton took a seat on the bar stool beside him and gently tapped a rhythm on the table top with his fingers.

An old man, in his late sixties Ashton guesses, sits on one of the stools his hand cupping a white mug filled to the top with steaming coffee. Ashton smiles gently to himself, watching him lift the coffee to his old lips to take a gentle sip.

“Hello! How may I help you?” A voice startled Ashton. Turning his attention back to the red headed waitress he gave her a large, dimply smile before telling her his order. Which consisted of a hot chocolate and cookie for Michael and a coffee and iced bun for Ashton.

Watching the waitress rush around to get his order Ashton looked over his shoulder at his punk rock friend, his attention fully on his white iPhone in his hand as his tiny thumbs tapped furiously away at the screen.

“Here you go.” The waitress smiles, passing Ashton a tray with their drinks and snacks, “Enjoy.” Removing a $10 note he passed it to the waitress with a smile before thanking her.

Making his way back over to Michael with the tray he gently places it down and slides it so it sits in the middle of the table in front of them both. Removing Michael’s hot chocolate and cookie first he placed them onto the table before removing his own order and placing the tray on the table behind them so it was out of the way.

“Thanks Ashton, I owe you.” Michael smiles fondly, his small hands now wrapped around the hot chocolate. But Ashton knows that Michael _won’t_ pay him back, but he doesn’t mind. As long as he gets to see his eccentric and brightly coloured haired friend he’s okay with paying.

Taking a large bite from his cookie Michael made a satisfied humming sound before putting it back on the plate. “I hate this restaurant, Ashton.” Michael says, a mouth still full of cookie.

“What? Why? You never said you hated it before?” Ashton questions as he reaches for the sugar beside them.

“It smells like fish, I fucking hate fish.” Michael replies, passing Ashton another sugar.

“Thank you.” He smiles at his friend. “Well why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I didn’t smell it as bad as I am today. Literally it smells so bad in here Ashton.”

“Stop breathing through your nose then.” Ashton chuckles, using a spoon to stir his beverage.

“And breathe through my mouth? Then I’d be able to _taste_ it and that’s no good.” Michael shakes his head, taking a large gulp of his hot chocolate. “Anyway, did you see the swimming competition coming up at the leisure centre?”

Ashton’s hazel eyes bulge at the word _swimming_ , “U-Uh, yeah I have.” He stutters, averting his eyes from Michael’s bright green orbs to his coffee. He mindlessly continued to stir his coffee as Michael continued to gaze at him.

“Are you going to enter this year? Its been a while since you… you know, swam.”

“I don’t want to enter it Mikey, okay?” Ashton replies, nibbling on his bottom lip. Just waiting for the flashback to hit.

_His long arms slapped against the surface of the water at a steady rhythm, his head lifted to the side every so often to fill his lungs with needed air to pursue his length._

_As he reached the other side he ducked himself under the water to flip himself over and push himself off of the wall to continue his journey back. A sharp pain shot through the side of his body, making him still his movements and slowly sink deeper into the water._

_Panic surged through him as the ever-needing feeling to breathe coaxed his lungs. He remembers the pain as the water fills his lungs when his brain demanded him to take a deep breath in. The chemicals from the pool burnt his throat and if he weren’t under water tears would be sliding down his cheeks at this very moment._

_The darkness seemed to surround him as he started to lose consciousness, his lungs slowly giving up and he slowly gave up._

Coming out of the flashback Ashton began panting for air, making Michael’s eyes snap to meet him and drop his phone onto the table. Rushing to his side he grabbed Ashton’s shaky hands and gently rubbed his thumbs on the top of his hands.

“I-I c-can’t b-breath” Ashton panics, his hazel eyes filling with tears. “M-Michael h-help.” He gasps.

“Ashton, watch me, yeah?” Michael says calmly, releasing Ashton’s hands to grab his cheeks. “Copy my breathing, you ready?”

“I-I c-can’t!” Ashton whimpers.

“In… two... three.” Michael breathes in for three, waiting for Ashton to do he same. “Out… two… three.” He breathes out, waiting for Ashton to do the same again.

Using his thumbs to wipe at Ashton’s cheeks he smiled fondly at his friend as he started to gain control over his breathing. “You okay?”

“A-A bit.” Ashton hiccups with a small nod.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up.” Michael whispers, his thumbs still stroking Ashton’s face with every silent tear that fell from his eyes.

“It’s okay.” Ashton sniffs, finally calming down. Staring fondly into Ashton’s eye’s Michael still had hold of the older boys’ face; a small smile tugged on Michael’s lips and he gently rubbed Ashton’s cheek with his thumb again.

A loud obnoxious ringing of Green Day’s American Idiot broke Michael’s intense gaze, with a low groan he went back to his seat and picked up his phone. “I’ve got to get this, you going to be okay?” he asks, holding the phone in his right hand, ready to answer it.

“Yeah of course.” Ashton nods. Smiling Michael pressed his phone to his ear and walked back outside of the restaurant to take the call.

Taking a sip of his coffee Ashton gazed down at his iced bun and was ready to pick it up and take a bite when a tap on his shoulder made him lose his train of thought.

“Saw you crying little lad, are you okay?” the old man from the bar asks, as he takes a seat on Michael’s side.

“Yeah, just a bad memory.” He shrugs, looking down at his coffee.

“The sea is wild now-a-days my boy.” The old man sighs as he gazes out of the window to look at the sea beneath them. “Strange things are happening out there I tell you,”

Ashton looked questioningly at the old man. “What do you mean?”

“People with tails!” he exclaims, grabbing hold of Ashton’s wrist startling the young boy.

“Tails? What?” Ashton frowns, trying to pry his hand from his wrist.

“Hey! Get off him!” Michael shouts, pulling harshly at the man’s wrist and hauling Ashton out of his seat, “Come on Ash, let’s go.”  

As they made their way out of the restaurant Ashton looked back to the old man as he gazed out at the vast ocean. "What do you think he meant, Michael?" 

"What do you mean?" Michael asks, his hand still on the bottom of Ashton's back as they make their way from the pier. Ashton tried to ignore the way Michael's thumb gently rubbed against the fabric of his hoodie but it was making him shiver and if you were to ask him he'd tell you it was the wind. Honestly it _was_. 

But the way the old man's enthusiasm about the 'people with tails' confused the hell out of Ashton. Surely he must be on some form of medication or had drunk a lot of liquor before approaching Ashton, considering he  _did_ smell like he'd had a lot to drink. "That old man.." Ashton started, his hazel eyes locking with Michael's green ones. "He said the sea is wild... that there's strange things happening. What do you think he means?" 

"Ashton, the man's a drunk. He could be hallucinating or some shit. Come on don't think too much about it." Michael's hand pushed Ashton continuously until they were off of the pier and on the promenade.

"But what if the old man isn't hallucinating Michael. What if there's something out there? You never know with the ocean, it's so deep that we've discovered more of  _space_ than we have of our  _own_ oceans!" Ashton exclaims.  _  
_

"You've got to stop watching those documentaries Ashton, they're messing with that pretty little head of yours." Michael chuckles. "Come on, let's go back to mine, order a pizza and play FIFA."

"You know I  _hate_ FIFA," Ashton groans, rubbing a hand over his face. 

"Okay then,  _you_ can watch  _me_ play it." he grins mischievously. 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ 


	2. Skipping Chem and Learning to Swim Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t even know why you’re even hanging out with the fishes. I thought you’re afraid of the water?”
> 
> Smirking, Ashton replied, “There are so many things in the world that’s better than Chemistry class.”

It would’ve been such a normal, dull day for Ashton Irwin if it wasn’t for the fact that he actually saw Luke Hemmings shirtless for the first time. Such a pleasant sight it was.

The day started with, Lord forbid, Maths and Ashton was expecting the entire day would be just as awful as his least favourite subject. For fuck’s sake he’d been trying to disappear into his grey hoodie like a tortoise hiding its head, but Miss Hardwick still called him out to answer the logarithm question on the board.

(“The number 3 is supposed to be written at the bottom not the top, Mr Irwin.” “Okay, it’s still not completely solved because it’s still in power form Mr Irwin; I need the answer in whole number.” “Root when changed to power, it’s in negative form, Mr Irwin.” Ashton nearly threw the marker right to the middle of her forehead. And he swore he will commit arson and burn down his classmates’ house along with their firstborns for even snickering at him. He swore he will.)

To top it all off, Michael was being a clingy little shit at lunch, whining about how he wants to go to town and get a new controller for his Play Station 3 because the ‘x’ button is no longer functioning. Ashton doesn’t really mind a sweater-wearing, cuddly, red-nosed Michael Clifford stealing fries from his plate, but he really does mind the wild hands that belong to the red-haired boy.

Ashton wasn’t exactly in the mood for affectionate touches at the moment but Michael had his left arm around Ashton’s waist with his head on Ashton’s shoulder talking about a new band he found on YouTube and how Ashton will love their new EP. If he was in a better mood, Ashton would’ve actually paid better attention but all he could comprehend was the fact that the band has a song that has the word ‘Star’ somewhere in the title.

He could’ve paid more attention if the hand on his waist wasn’t rubbing his side half-aggressively, too.

He was definitely alright with Michael’s cuddliness but at times it could get borderline uncomfortable. It was only two weeks ago when they were lounging on Ashton’s sofa, watching telly with half-lidded eyes, eating pizza that he felt nimble fingers caressing the top of his inner thigh in soothing circles. He could’ve just brush it off as a harmless loving gesture from his best friend – Michael is one passionate cuddly shit – but he swore as the minutes pass they were moving higher and higher that he had to stand up and pretend to head to the bathroom to brush his teeth. And it was three days ago when he was pulling his books from his locker when Michael wrapped his arms around Ashton’s middle and kissed his neck all of a sudden. Michael just skipped away nonchalantly leaving a dumbstruck Ashton standing frozen in front of his locker.

Seeing his tray was nearly empty as Michael kept stealing his food, Ashton decided that it was time to leave the cafeteria – away from this cuddly, red fluff that was innocently (or not innocently, Ashton really couldn’t tell) invading his personal space.

Standing up he muttered about heading to the music room or the garden next to the school’s back entrance because his aim was to scurry away quick enough without any questions asked by his red-headed friend.

Walking through the hallway he remembered the fact that he has Chemistry next and he really wasn’t in the mood to continue learning about redux reactions. And oh, he forgot to finish the oxidation experiment report!

Okay, he decided on the spot that he was skipping Chem today.

By the next minute he found himself at the entrance of the school’s indoor pool, thinking he might be able to hide himself in one of the changing rooms, lie down on the bench as he scrolls through 9Gag.

He could’ve just gone home but he has English after Chemistry and he liked English and Mr Henley’s ass looks nice in his neatly pressed trousers so yeah, two periods of English definitely won’t kill him.

As soon as he pushed through the heavy double doors his ears were greeted by the sound of merry laughter and a yell of “Luke! Luke, I did it! I can swim again!”

He recognized the voice and the name instantly and that was the reason why he spun around on the balls of his feet so quickly that he nearly toppled off balance.

Sure enough he was met with sight of his team-mate in the swim team, Calum – well, ex-team-mate since he’d withdrawn himself from the team two weeks after his accident – and of course, his hot, blonde friend Luke Hemmings in all his shirtless glory.

(He was lucky the railing on the door was still within reach so he actually had something to hold on to because he swore his knee joints melted and his legs nearly buckled underneath him from such a heavenly sight.)

(Also, fuck the rusty bolts on the railing because the things nearly came off from his tight grip and produced a loud clinking sound that caused both Luke and Calum’s head to turn towards him.)

“Ashton!” Calum shouted from inside the pool, waving enthusiastically at him, “come over here! Look, I can swim again!” He even put on a show of doing a pool-ballet routine of some sort, and Ashton couldn’t help but chuckle as he made his way towards the edge of the pool.

Ashton was trying his best to only stare at Calum instead of the handsome, shirtless friend of his that was sitting cross-legged at the edge of the pool with his blonde hair slightly damp and his muscular upper body on full display. Damn, his shoulders…

“Man, can’t believe I can still do underwater hand stands!”

His brain registered the fact that he should be laughing at the remark, and so he did as he slowly squatted a safe distance away from the edge of the pool. Lord knows he could actually fall into the pool if he slips or if he stands too close, and surprisingly, embarrassing himself in front of Luke Hemmings was the least of his worries at the moment.

He saw Calum swimming from the middle of the pool towards the side of the pool where Ashton was seated, a small smile drawn across the line of his lips. “It feels so good to be back in the water, Ash.” he remarks, leaning his arms on the edge of the pool. 

Returning the warm smile, Ashton replied genuinely, “I’m so happy for you too, Cal. It’s good to see you’ve overcome… the…” He found himself faltering in the search for the right word.

“Phobia.” It was Luke who supplied, turning both Ashton and Calum’s head. “The word’s phobia.”

Swallowing tentatively Ashton replied with an almost choked reply of “Yeah.”

The truth is Ashton didn’t like to think of the fact that he has a phobia.

A phobia of water; his once best friend.

You see, Calum has the same phobia as him. Well,  _had_ , considering he was currently swimming in the pool.

He even read the story of how Calum nearly drowned during one of his impromptu road trips with his friend in the local newspapers. Well, the news definitely left out the details Calum told him about how the clouds were so grey and the waves were wild with rage and restlessness. How he said the sea was yearning to swallow him. How if it wasn’t for Luke, he might’ve died drowning.

That was another detail that the papers left. Luke was the one who saved Calum, but the papers said it was three of his other friends. It was on Luke’s request that the rest of Sydney doesn’t know that. And to say Ashton was impressed by his down-to-Earth attitude was an understatement.

Nonetheless, it didn’t change the fact that Calum nearly died in the waters. And since Ashton has had the same experience he found himself constantly checking out Calum’s condition. The boy’s house was only a block away from him, so whenever Michael’s not attaching himself onto his hip Ashton found himself hanging out with the Kiwi boy, telling him that the nightmares were the worst during the first weeks and sometimes even the shower can be slightly frightening.

However, seeing Calum’s success in actually swimming again, he couldn’t help but feel relieved that he could actually help his friend even though he couldn’t help himself. He was sitting three foot away from the water, for fuck’s sake.

He was still eyeing Calum cautiously as the lad swam through the pool doing laps when he caught the sight of Luke approaching him at the corner of his eye.

Ignoring the quickening pace of his heartbeat Ashton looked up to shoot a smile at the lanky boy. “Hey.”

Luke’s reply was his usual enthusiastic “Hey”, so Ashton kept the smile hanging on his lips as he pulled his legs closer towards his chest and circled his arms around him.

“You know, I wouldn’t have been able to do this if it wasn’t for you and Luke.” Calum’s voice boomed from across the pool where he was sitting, catching his breath. He was beaming widely and Ashton could see it from where he was standing. “So thank you.”

Ashton shrugged, “I didn’t even do anything, Cal. I remembered how scary it was – and I know you experienced worse – and I just thought maybe I can help go through the phase. I found myself counting my blessings because for fuck’s sake I drowned in the state’s swimming arena and you still have scars from the jagged rocks by the sea… So I must thank you, too.”

Calum was still smiling when he replied, “It’s funny that now I’m here, back in the water, I just think that my fears were… pointless, you know. This is where I belong, and to think that it’s going to betray me was just… stupid.”

Ashton trailed his gaze towards the blue floorings of the pool, and couldn’t help but think that the water was being unfair. It helped Calum, but betrayed him. The water was evil. It could kill anyone it please.

“You won’t get your revenge by staring daggers at the water, Ashton.” It was Luke’s voice, accompanied by a light-hearted chuckle.

Ashton should be offended by his words. He really should. But he couldn’t get offended by the boy who was staring at him contently with his cerulean orbs, teeth toying with the lip ring on his lower lip.

No, Ashton could not.

Sighing, Ashton peeled his eyes away from the boy, choosing to stare at his hands. “Water  _was_  my best friend, Luke. I can’t hate it.”  _Besides your eyes have the same shade of blue with the one the pool floorings have. I can’t hate that._

“It’s still your best friend, you know. It proved that to Calum.”

The lines on his palm suddenly looked interesting. “Maybe the water hates me? If it does, I don’t ever want to find out, Luke.”

From a peripheral peek he could see that Luke was sporting a sad smile as he spoke, “I’ll help you find out one day.”

Ashton found himself rejecting rather alarmingly, “Oh, no no – I’m not going back—” The water looks threatening, even from here. The ripples – so fucking deceivingly calm, he fucking hates it. That’s what the water is; a deceiving fuck.

Okay, fuck this. Now is really not the time for another panic attack, okay Ashton? _Calm the fuck down_.

There were fingers on both sides of his face – soft slender ones, rubbing the sides of his face smoothly.

“Hey, Ashton? Ashton? Are you okay?”

 Luke’s voice was soft. Soft, like his fingers. Except they were melodic. And calm. Calmer than the ripples of the water can never be.

“Can you open your eyes for me, Ashton?” He didn’t even realize he’d closed his eyes – probably an instinctive attempt to chase the nightmares away in his wake.

“No.” He didn’t know why he replied with that.

“Come on, I won’t let the water hurt you. It’s okay, Ash, just me and Calum here.”

This time Ashton drags the “No” a lot longer, aware that he was sounding like a grumpy child refusing to take a bath now. It was probably ridiculous, but Luke’s hands were still holding his face tenderly and the movements of his fingers were so calming and if being a grumpy child is what it takes for the soft digits to stay then so be it.

There was the sound of water lapping against the edges of the pool, and Ashton knew Calum was approaching.

“Oi lovebirds just kiss already!” Calum laughed.

And Ashton laughed too. He wasn’t worried anymore. The water wasn’t threatening him. Luke’s laugh was beautiful.

“Kiss? Gladly!”

Of course, stupid Luke Hemmings tightened his grip on the sides of Ashton’s face, causing the latter to peel his eyes open in alarm.

And of course, stupid stupid Ashton Irwin didn’t stop him when he playfully steered Ashton’s head towards his mouth.

But there was the fucking stupid motherfucker that is Michael Clifford who yelled “Ashton?! What the hell are you – Hemmings, fuck, get away from him!” just a mere second before Ashton’s lips could meet Luke’s.

Luke instantly sprung away from Ashton with a panicked look on his face like a child who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, the scarlet tint across his cheeks added to the look.

Ashton forgot Michael has such long legs that it only took him four long strides to get to Ashton, and he didn’t need to look at his face to know he was sporting a scowl.

“What the hell are you doing with these fishes, Ash?” Michael asked, his hand grabbing Ashton’s bicep, helping him up.

“Hey!” Came Calum’s protest from the pool. “Watch it Clifford!”

“Oh I don’t know fishes can talk!” Michael had his infamous sarcastic smile on, and Ashton was considering punching it away from his face for the first time ever. “Anyways, we really gotta go because we have the next class  _together_ ,” Michael let his gaze fall unto Luke, who was gaping bewildered, “and we can chat later, fishes.”

His grip on Ashton’s arm wasn’t even tight but right now Ashton really feels like he needed to escape this place and the waters and the blushing boy at the edge of the pool. So he let Michael tug him out of the place, but not before smiling apologetically at Luke and laughing out loud in Michael’s grimacing face as Calum countered with the shout of a “Fuck you, Clifford!”

“I don’t even know why you’re even hanging out with the fishes. I thought you’re afraid of the water?”

Smirking, Ashton replied, “There are so many things in the world that’s better than Chemistry class.”


End file.
